Artichokes come from..."Cactusfornia!" my 3-year-old announces with confidence. Learning about the states (and their claims to fame in terms of produce) can be a daunting task, particularly when there is a tricky uncle on hand to validate your crazy mistakes. Look for meat in "Innilois" and maple syrup in "New Vermont," in case you were wondering.
The same brother who conned a dollar bill out of me as a child ('That bill says legal tender on it," he advised me solemnly, "only banks should have that kind of money. I'll trade it in for you and get the kind you're allowed to use.") now torments the next generation of our family. Whether they are being cheated in a backyard race or teased in a fairly standard way, the local kids can't get enough: there is crying and complaining, but ultimately they go right back for more.
Payback? Lead the witness and the little boy will affirm all manner of fibs in his testimony against his clever uncle: What happened? "He made me cry." You weren't doing anything wrong were you?" "No, he started it." The older girl attempts to shore up the defense she since was typically the only eyewitness to these events, but Grendel holds fast to his version of the melee. Hopefully he will never be called upon as a subject matter expert in any trial of consequence.
Mashed potatoes do come from "Idaho!" and the Yankees come from "New York!" so it's not all bad. Just don't go looking for "Abraska" or "North Mexico" on any map of the USA.