Transcript of a spontaneous spiritual discussion between a parent and two small children:
HE: Are there Legos in heaven?
ME: Sure, I guess so.
HE: Do they have the sets that Lego doesn’t make anymore?
ME: Probably.
HE: And all the weird parts?
ME: Yep.
SHE: Do you have all the money you want?
ME: There’s no money in heaven, you don’t need it.
HE: The Legos are free.
ME: Okay.
HE: So I could have those Lego troopers I want.
ME: Sure.
SHE: You’re not sick in heaven either.
ME: Right.
SHE: And you can see all your family.
ME: And your pets too I think.
HE: Are you a kid or are you old?
ME: I guess there are some of every kind.
HE: I want to be a kid in heaven.
ME: Sounds good, I want to be a kid too.
HE: You can’t, you’re a Mom.
SHE: Do you have wings in heaven?
ME: I’m not sure.
SHE: Are you a skeleton?
HE: No, you’re an angel.
SHE: Can you eat whatever you want?
ME: There’s no food in heaven. You don’t need to eat.
HE: I want food in heaven!
ME: Well, maybe there is then.
HE: Do you have a house in heaven?
ME: I guess so.
HE: I want heaven to be just like my life here.
SHE: Why are you talking about this? You’re a long way from heaven anyway, probably a thousand years.
ME: You should start worrying about being good down here so you can get to heaven at all.
HE: Does everyone go to heaven?
ME: Nope. Only good people.
HE: Where do the bad ones go?
ME: Underground with the devil, like you told me last week.
HE: I never said that.